It's OK, they have a safe word...
It's officially time to spread some wisdom on the wonderful world of HOW TO EAT A HUMAN. Now.. this is a subject I could spend all day on. Me likes talking about me favorite food. However, I'm going to keep this to just the important stuff, where the best places are to bite. Let's get started.
The Easiest Target
The Forearms and Fingers: If you get close enough the first thing the fleshies say is something really ingenious like... "Get back" or "Don't come any closer". Use this time to close the distance and make your move. At this point they do something really stupid like put their hands up or try to block you with a forearm. I'm pretty sure it's because they want to be eaten, we'll go with that. Lock on to the hand/forearm and lean in. 90% of the time they'll fall back and you can have a real face to face conversation.
The Funnest Target
The Ankles and ...er... Other: This works better for crawlers... You know.. legs blown off by some random unknown weapon. Or maybe the brain safe jumped off a roof before turning into one of us...Who knows. Either way there are various fun ways to hide yourself and jump out at an opportune moment. For example: Under a parked car, in the back seat of a working car, or my personal favorite... inside a porta potty. No... not behind the door... I mean INSIDE the porta potty... Guess where the soft spot is.....?
Most Effective Target
The Neck: (see demonstration at the top) What's the best way to get a group of so called 'Zombie Hunters' to urinate in their Superman underpants? Sneak up behind one of them and take a good old fashioned bite out of the carotid artery. It's not like the movies, if you hit the external artery it will take them all full 5 minutes to cap off, the internal is quicker at 2 minutes. The internal's possible, but we're talking a serious T-Rex bite here.
Have other favorites?? Let us know...
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